Oh look. An email from KELVIN:
Chris, man: Shit. I got your email about the pink. I’m out of pink, dude. I’m also out a purple. I got 62 yellow and I’m running low on green. Also, since I’m giving you free pens, can you do a commercial for me? Just say “I love Kelvin’s Discount Pens. Made by Kelvin the Krazy Pen Guy." Also my slogan is, “Pens, Bitch”. Just turn your head and say, Pens Bitch. Awsome show Chris. This could be huge.
Hmm. (Perhaps you missed: Pens Bitch.)
Dear Chris. Nothing in this world comes for free. I will see you next Wednesday, and I wont be expecting a pen. Don't prostitute yourself for pens Chris, it's dirty...For money and fame and hot babes,ok. not pens.
Posted by: ilovesandysanchez | January 25, 2008 at 12:19 AM
i gotta say, just take the pens. he is so passionate about the pens...bitch? make you should just let his creative floodgate open as long as it focuses on your show and is content specific. i just hope he is talking about pens...bitch?
Posted by: loveoff | January 25, 2008 at 12:19 AM
dang!
nobody wants your red pens, bitch.
pink! pink! pink!
Posted by: crawlinghand | January 25, 2008 at 12:19 AM
well think if some one had said to DaVinci, man we just need more penis, would he have compromised himself and given them more penis or just did what came naturally? Maybe chris should take then pens for their cute with chris focus...and not be biased by color. the guests should enjoy all free swag they get. and chris should focus on the content of his play.
Posted by: loveoff | January 25, 2008 at 12:37 AM
Oh, give me a break... This guy sounds like no kind of business man. Can you do a commercial for me?? Sheesh. I think you've done more than enough for this guy already. You've given him a place to speak for himself. Bleh...
I think you should forget it. If Kelvin wants to send you a box of free pens, fine, awesome, thank you Kelvin. But you don't owe this guy anything. Kelvin needs to remember that Chris is in the cute biz not in the uncute pen biz, bitch.
Posted by: Alicia | January 25, 2008 at 01:18 AM
YES! There is justice in the world! No pink pens!!! Sadly I can't come to the show so i won't get a pen no matter what colour (but what's so special about pens anyway?...as long as i can see "Cute with Chris" every monday i dont need a stupid pen!) So......red pens(bitch)!...yeeey!
Posted by: Jo | January 25, 2008 at 01:23 AM
hah go red.
Posted by: lenora | January 25, 2008 at 01:30 AM
Sigh. Nothing *is* truly free. Maybe an assortment of colors? Fight it out at the show. Better yet, just say "No pens, bitch!" Or just have the audience throw them at Rhonda.
Posted by: Towelie | January 25, 2008 at 01:49 AM
Hey Kelvin,
Kudos for your brazen 'hutzpah'.
You've already milked our Lord Chris for free advertising this past week that could easily buy all the pens in China, yet you whine that all you have left are a measly 62 yellow (I'll take 'em), low on green (gadzooks man, I'll take 'em) and you 'have to get rid of the red'???? (Alicia, Alicia, Alicia)
You should have pens leaking out of every open orifice on your body at this point, but, nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....
Whining is easier.
My faith in human nature has dropped another inch in the human gene pool.
Kelvin, you schlep (yelllow, yellow, yellow.....)
-quotagirl
Posted by: quotagirl | January 25, 2008 at 01:54 AM
Kelvin = bitch
Posted by: joss | January 25, 2008 at 01:58 AM
Chris you don't need no stinking pens. F Kelvin and his request for you to do a commercial. Note to Kelvin it's about the ANIMALS. GO ANIMALS. Screw the pens. Adopt an animal today.
I think Kelvin maybe related to Rhonda.
Posted by: Todd | January 25, 2008 at 02:24 AM
This Kelvin dude sounds like a bitch to me now. Lets call him ass for the rest of the day. Todays asshole is ......? :)
Posted by: Barakuda | January 25, 2008 at 02:27 AM
I agree about the whole commercial thing. Last week he says FREE, the next week he says "DO A COMMERCIAL FOR ME"...
Do a search on Google. Look at the price of promotional custom logo pens and do a little math based on the total seats in the audience that you'll have in Hollywood. Now.. how much would you get paid for if you did a commercial for someone professionally? If you knew the guy personally or something or something.. sure, maybe.. but I don't think it's worth the trouble Chris.. it's almost blackmail.
Posted by: FUYU | January 25, 2008 at 02:42 AM
I agree with Barakuda! Kelvin is an ass! What a little whiner. You were right Chris. People can be so selfish. oooo I'm so mad right now! Bitch Kelvin! Keep working on your shows Chris I can't wait!
Posted by: Melisande | January 25, 2008 at 02:52 AM
No "free" pens, bitch!
Posted by: Kat | January 25, 2008 at 03:10 AM
Refuse the pens. Stay true to yourself. NO COMMERCIAL. I HATE pens.
Posted by: zoe126 | January 25, 2008 at 03:24 AM
I can see the commercial know:
'Kelvin, for when you want unprofessional work, and the second or third color you want!'
Posted by: Jamie Martin | January 25, 2008 at 03:42 AM
Is this guy hand-crafting each pen himself?!
Hey Kelvin - BUY MORE PENS! And stay away from email, it's not your medium.
Posted by: JPro | January 25, 2008 at 04:33 AM
Effin' no way....Chris, dump the cheap ass pens and dump the Bitch....he is worthless...don't be whoring yourself out for free cheap ass plastic pens which will probably break the first time anyone uses em!
Go Chris, stay true, it's about the Cuteness....not PENS....
Robin
Posted by: Robin | January 25, 2008 at 04:40 AM
Well, I thought it was funny.
And, since he is still doing the work for free, I'm sure he's used all those colors he ran out of for paid work... Of course, professionalism can't really come into play if your slogan has the word "bitch" in it. Ah well, I happen to love pens.
Posted by: Russell | January 25, 2008 at 04:49 AM
I've gotta watch my language cuz i'm posting this from a school computer, but barakudas right. chris, i think you should get this guys address and post it online so all your viewers can go beat the "crap" out of him. I mean, what kind of business does this "idiot" have that he cant even order more pens when he needs them. so take his red pens, and then publically destroy them at your live show. you could say something like, "Heres what i think of your pens, you bitch."
Posted by: black rabbi | January 25, 2008 at 04:55 AM
Who says they have to be one color, only? Multi-color pens! Damn-it. People can pick what they want at the door. And anyway, didn’t the guy say that he needed to know right away? And it’s been … what? A week now?
Who needs this aggravation?! Forget it.
Posted by: KJ | January 25, 2008 at 05:21 AM
WTF!! is this guy even reading your site? does he realize that everyone who will be at your show already knows about him from here? I say, "no pink, no mention at the show. All your dreams are dead."
Posted by: Cristina | January 25, 2008 at 05:30 AM
Today's asshole is Kelvin.
I owe Chris an apology - apparently, nothing in life is free.
Posted by: Wilhelmina | January 25, 2008 at 05:31 AM
I guess the best things in life aren't free... bitch.
Posted by: Sarah Lorraine | January 25, 2008 at 05:34 AM