Oh look. An email from KELVIN:
Chris, man: Shit. I got your email about the pink. I’m out of pink, dude. I’m also out a purple. I got 62 yellow and I’m running low on green. Also, since I’m giving you free pens, can you do a commercial for me? Just say “I love Kelvin’s Discount Pens. Made by Kelvin the Krazy Pen Guy." Also my slogan is, “Pens, Bitch”. Just turn your head and say, Pens Bitch. Awsome show Chris. This could be huge.
Hmm. (Perhaps you missed: Pens Bitch.)
Talk about your bait and switch!
Kelvin said nothing about requiring you to do a commercial.
Kelvin is a dick. Worse than that, Kelvin is not cute on the inside.
Refuse the pens. And let us never speak of Kelvin again.
(And what's up with defining yourself by your job, like it's a title or something? I'm a nurse but you don't see me saying, "Everyone calls me Mary the bedpan gal."
Posted by: Drunkbunny | January 25, 2008 at 05:50 AM
Wow...you are going to tell this guy to screw off, right? I bet he had no intention of putting anything on the pen itself about your show, he probably has his own name and number. Plus, he's already getting advertising just by being on your site! Whatever, this guys has shady written all over him and his stupid pens.
Posted by: Rachael | January 25, 2008 at 05:52 AM
why don't you just tell Kelvin where he can get rid of all of his red pens?
and i mean, by inserting them all in his anus.
do your own dang commercial, clown shoe.
Posted by: nicole | January 25, 2008 at 06:10 AM
Um, Drunkbunny, you wrote, "I'm a nurse but you don't see me saying, "Everyone calls me Mary the bedpan gal."
Actually, DB/Mary, that IS what we've been calling you for years now. Didn't you know that? Sorry. You probably also missed the funeral we held for your dreams. It was really, really special.
Posted by: John | January 25, 2008 at 06:17 AM
Oh predictable! Chris,Don't sell your soul to the (pens) devil!!
Posted by: Nic | January 25, 2008 at 06:23 AM
Dear Kelvin,
I am issuing a memo that from today forward all pens made for my office and various professional organizations be ordered from your more than capable pen business enterprise as this will save me lots of time. Instead of agonizing over color choices I will simply be able to say, "Give me whatever you have, bitch."
Sincerely,
Your Biggest Account
Posted by: Amy | January 25, 2008 at 06:47 AM
This guy had to screw up a good gesture with the request for a fricking commercial. Gross- I guess it is true that nothing in life is free.
Posted by: Jackie | January 25, 2008 at 06:55 AM
Suck it Kelvin!
Posted by: Spark | January 25, 2008 at 07:04 AM
I think Kelvin's a fake. That email is reeking of cheap ploy at internet fame.
Posted by: Jordan | January 25, 2008 at 07:27 AM
I'm doubtful that we'll actually end up with any pens....
Posted by: Radish | January 25, 2008 at 07:29 AM
Fuck pens! Like you can't just walk down the street and find a pen on the ground or steal one from the doctor's office.
Posted by: Sher | January 25, 2008 at 07:31 AM
Pens Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Dede | January 25, 2008 at 07:32 AM
Wasn't that harry asian guy named Kalvin?
Posted by: Sher | January 25, 2008 at 07:36 AM
i'm sure Chris would have mentioned him during the show..but nooo..Kelvin had to ruin that,as Amy said before me..
Posted by: deea | January 25, 2008 at 07:38 AM
make him send a pic of a cute with chris demo pen....
actually, fuck pens!
Posted by: Caroline | January 25, 2008 at 07:42 AM
Kelvin ... tsk, tsk, tsk (I shake my head sadly)
Posted by: barb | January 25, 2008 at 07:46 AM
Oh sure, promote this 'dude,' have people start ordering their pens, only to be told he's out of every color they want. Nice way to do business KELVIN, if that is indeed your real name.
Posted by: T-Bone | January 25, 2008 at 07:53 AM
All your dreams are dead....no pink pens AND nothing in life is free....dump the pen bitch. You have given him enough free advertisement already.
Posted by: Tess | January 25, 2008 at 07:55 AM
Beyond the abhorrent gesture of asking for a commercial, this guy has the audacity to DIRECT Chris! He writes up a little script and tells Chris HOW to deliver the lines. I think Kelvin needs a seat right next to Rhondas.
Say no to pens.
Kelvin, all your dreams are dead.
Posted by: Christine | January 25, 2008 at 07:58 AM
Kelvin isn't the brightest bulb in the lamp is he? He has gotten more exposure on this site than he will at the show. The 85 ppl that will be there are included in the 2 mil+ that check out this site. Now, Kelvin looks like an ass. Before this stupid request, kelvin was the man. Now, Kelvin is the man's pen bitch.
Be gone kelvin and stick your Red pens where the sun don't shine. We don't need no stinkin' pens.
Posted by: Jackie | January 25, 2008 at 08:50 AM
i concur with the majority of comments and I am Canadian so that means my opinion holds weight. Chris - as my Canadian brother - please don't accept these 62 cheap plastic made in China bastard pens that probably don't work anyway....
tell kelvin who he's dealin with!! BITCH!!
Posted by: lynn | January 25, 2008 at 08:53 AM
I can't come to see the show, but I still vote for either blue or yellow. I always thought the pink was like a milky, watery color compared to the other colors.
Posted by: Veronica | January 25, 2008 at 09:16 AM
Sorry you got used man!
Give us this schmuck business info and let us fans take care of this jackass for you.
I feel like ordering some pens...
Posted by: Valtrexa | January 25, 2008 at 09:20 AM
What a douchebag! On top of the fact that he doesn't have what is specified when he is getting a pretty sweet deal as far as propaganda goes, he has the audacity to require our lord to stoop to making commercials for him? Screw the pens...Chris, you've got enough on your plate without this headache to boot.
Posted by: fleenflan | January 25, 2008 at 09:47 AM
Ughhh, how unprofessianal are YOU, Mr. Kelvin the Krazy Pen Guy???
Posted by: fleenflan | January 25, 2008 at 09:48 AM