The Roommate

"...Hey Chris. I'm Alice, from Massachusetts. In my dorm room at college there was a squirrel family that used to live in the wall; the photo attached is of one of them peeking out from under the roof outside, a couple months ago.  They were incredibly annoying, making thrashing and purring noises at all hours of the night and day... that is, until we called the groundskeepers and got them to board up the holes in the roof... now we don't know if they're still in there, starved and dead, or if they escaped in time..."

Comments

[beesley]

Jesus! That's funny yet so horrible. Thanks Chris. Even if cats can escape from poles, you're still keepin' it real. No matter how many records you sell.

[khs]

Wow - what a cold-hearted bitch. Karma is a nasty thing.

[leslie]

murder is bad

[Jill]

Cold-hearted indeed khs!!! Hopefully they were outside when it was boarded up. Thats what I'm going to believe!

[rachel]

I had the same problem- in college I lived in a house owned by the university, and squirrels would _always_ get into the walls (very distracting). The thing is that squirrels are smart enough and a nice heated building is good enough for the squirrels to find (or make) another hole. Watch out if you have drop ceilings with water damage that the squirrels run around on. Eventually they get weak enough that the squirrels can fall through.

[womanofdanger]

check out john and his cat
--> http://www.sexypeople-blog.com/

hysterical!

-wod

[CCLCarm]

Love the little squirrely whiskers in the picture...

Hope they were out collecting nuts when the man boarded up their "home".

Chris has been REALLY keeping it real!

[Kratz]

I can't wait for the real Debbie Downer posts around Christmas, this just fills my heart with joy. I'm gettin out of this cult. Bitch.

[Marylee]

Believe me, you'd know if you had dead squirrels in your walls.

[Courto in NY]

What a cutie! Hope you don't have dead squirrels in your walls...

[X]

My university had the same problem with mice. Given the horrific stink that plagued the place for a week after the mice died, believe me, if there were dead squirrels in your walls, you would know.

[Carla]

They're dead and their souls will haunt you forever, Alice. Woe to you! Woe to you!

[Rebekah]

Yeah this definitely is not cute. This post seems like it would be enjoyed more at iwanttokillsquirrels.com Or aliceisasquirrelkiller.com

At any rate I did not enjoy hearing about a poor family of squirrels that simply wanted to enjoy their home on campus, just like you Alice. IN FACT I am sure some find you equally if not more annoying. I wish some one would board up your hole.

Of course I didn't mean that last part. . . that would be ahahaa. . cruel, inhumane, your just trying to go to college after all!

[Robin 33teen]

I have a family of squirrels living in the walls of my studio. Try telling clients that the god awful sound they are hearing is just squirrels.

I think I would get a better response if I said that it was Satan in my walls.

[Tova]

Oh, no!

If they are dead, the little squirrel ghosts are going to come and haunt you in the night for assisting in their murder.

You thought it you had problems before?? Wait until you get a load of a family of pissed off ghost squirrels dragging around those annoying chains and moaning all night.

Shoulda' left well enough alone. Now you'll never sleep.

BOO!

See? They're starting, already!

[katey]

I gotta say I'm with Rebekah on this one...

[Dylan]

Murder is awesome! And I hate squirrels anyway. Thanks Alice!

[Tammy]

You are a serious asshole. How cruel not to care and how cruel of you Chris to post this and not care either. You should all be ashamed ! >_<

[Jayme]

Oh, come on Tammy! They make more every day!

[CalicoCupcakes]

you are mean!

I know college is hard, I'm in Grad school, but can't you deal with a little squirrel noise, I mean how wimpy are you? Poor squirrels, that was very self centered of you. They were just trying to make a warmy home for themselves, awwww... squirrels are people too.

It's not very CWC of you, I reckon you should be ousted from the cult.

[B.Jax]

I'm not sure you are aware, Cupcakes, of how irritating squirrels sound in your walls. I had the same problem at my house. I would wake up and not be able to get back to sleep from the noises they made running around in my wall and in my attic. And they scream. And I think I may have heard them having sex. It is EXTREMELY distracting and irritating.

We got the holes boarded up, and I think they found a new home.

What is it with squirrels and college campuses, too? Every college campus I've ever discussed with someone has an overly large squirrel population living on it.

[Lor Blitzer (formerly known as lorjer/lorwithnojer oh who cares)]

Crap...sucks to be a squirrel family at your school!

[-M-]

After reading Rebekah's comment I immediately tried to look up www.iwanttokillsquirrels.com. How disappointed I was to find out that no such sight exists. Yet.

[Mary]

"i don't know if they are dead..." omg -.- how MEAN!!!

i hope they escaped and i hope they're gonna make even more noise now!! <.<

[Britty]

Today's asshole is Alice! D:
I hope their squirrelly souls haunt you and the groundskeeper.